哭过就好了

我重来不说不 不是因为我愿意
我重来都不生气 不是因为我没有脾气
我重来都不哭 不是因为我没有眼泪
我重来都不出声 不是因为我没话更你谈
都是因为我爱你.

烦烦烦.

我好烦 头好痛 谁可以来救救我? 好难过.

我到底怎么了?

This few days dun really feel good at all also. Have been thinking lots of things.

What am I actually thinking? Only make myself giddy and headache. 

Cause myself from having less sleep. 

It really spoiled all my mood. 

Who can help me?! 

I one sleeping pills!

I wanna get out of all my problems and troubles!!!

Ahhhhh! Tmd. 

搞什么鬼?

Trying to be funny izzit?

WT-!

Silence is golden. yes, im wrong. i never blame u. i will just keep quiet. its ok. things will be smooth soon. Well. its de 3rd week i guess and my cough is still here with me. but compared to last week, its so much better already. thanks mama with her lovely black bean soup to cure my sickness away! thinking how can i get through my august. ahhhhh!

=(

生病了. 已经有两个礼拜了 好辛苦啊!!!!

看到你们那么好,我有点小嫉妒.
有时候想一想, 其实朋友不能永远的陪着你 不能给你全部.
还是有一个爱你 能给你全部的人 那就是最好的.
她是幸福的. 看到你开心我也应该开心的.

Unlucky days.

How should I start? Recently alot of sway things happen to me. Told my gf everything and feel so much better. Thanks Orange. After I tell her my everything she did ask me why didn't I shout out that I'm tired for all this shit? Why didn't I cry out loud for all this shit? My reply was I dunno. And gave her my no choice face. 我也很佩服我自己为什么到现在我没哭没喊累. And now I wanna say, I'm real tired of my life. 我都被钱收住我了. I really have no choice. If I'm richer then good le. I won't have so much problems already. I won't even care or bother how ppl think or attitude me cause I'm rich. But too bad, I'm not. I wanna find more part time jobs for myself to earn more money. To make myself tired so I can sleep well. What I hope is that all my sway things can faster end. Good luck come come ok? I'm waiting for u to come to mama. I believe my luck will come de. I will slowly wash away de bad luck de. =) 我一定要加油! 为了我自己我的家,一定要! 随让我一个人,不管多累或多辛苦多难熬我都要熬过这关. 我相信我做得到.不管多辛苦我都要撑下去. 有时我好需要一个肩膀来靠一靠. 我可以讲到现在我还是怕安静. 要习惯这一个人真的对我来说很不容易. 我还在练习当中. I will think a lot when I'm on my way to work. keep asking myself how come I will think so much? And de only way to stop thinking so much is to sleep. Sleep really cures me and my brain a lot. But when I wake up, I started to think again. Zzz. How I wish I can just sleep and sleep all de way. For now, I so wanna blog out how i feel. But no words can describe my feelings. Or maybe I should say I couldn't take it the things I need to overcome soon? Ahhhhhhhh! Wtf. 做人做到好累啊!!!!

Day 260.

 Yes. Today is May of 12. A very special and important day for us.
i uploaded parts of our picture that we have been through all this ups and downs.
All our hard and tough times, we manage to go over it.

 

woke up early and do this post. when i never had enough sleep de previous day.
this proves that how important May 12 is to me. anyway i also cant sleep la. lol!

Happy 6 years. all this 点点滴滴熬过来的六年.
though we didnt manage to tell each other this face to face, fully celebrate it
though we are doing diff things now, meeting diff ppl, no time for each other
but i hope u will always remember what we have been through all this 6 years.
no matter its happy memories or sad/bad memories. know our mistakes
and not to repeat it again. ok?
u are a not so romantic bad temper yet funny like to disturb me cum nice bf i had.
though until now we have some small arguments, but i still find it sweet.
cause all this arguments make me understand u more,
make me got more chance to get close and tok to u.
though i like dun care dun care like that one. =)
we will never no what will happen next time.
so let 老天decide all this bah. lets wait and see ok.
i believe no matter how much less time we spend together,
how much less time we communicate,
if u are mine, means u are mine. who also cant stop and cant destroy us right?
so for de time being, just stay happy. i dun wanna see ur sad and stress face.
i dun feel good when i see u like this also.
cheer up ok? i wanna see ur smile face everytime i meet u. =)

Day 259

One more day to May 12.

Day 236

你知道我一直都很想你吗?
你感觉得到吗?

Day 213

so u tell me 5years is nth to u.
its just a memories to u.

为什么你不尝试进入我的世界呢？
一定要我进入你的世界吗？
我的世界也没有不好啊.
为什么一定要我去找你而不是你来找我呢？

我们很爱对方 放不下对方 可是
我们就是有一个东西一抹一样
那就是，我们两个都不踏出那第一步.

我真的很不想踏出这第一步
因为我觉得你应该先走这一步.
如果你回来找我，我会心软的.

我只能在我的房间对着我的四面墙哭
什么都不能做.
我好想随便抱着任何一个人哭得痛痛快快
我却哭不出来. 到底这么了？

Day 199

Sometimes i wonder, when will i got my other half.
so wish to get marry.
so wanna get a rich husband.
but i cant let go, how am i going to get what i one.
when will i let go.

until now im still crying over u.
though not as much like last time.
but its still over u. silly me.
still find my life so suck and messy without u.
seriously without u, no one make decision for me le.
thats because without u making decision for me, i feel my life really got damaged.
7mths le. i really need to take 5years to recover everything?
i need to have a sucky life for 5years?

Day 184.

如果能重来一次，
我不愿让你一个人.

我最后一个奢求的可能
只求你有快乐人生.

想念你 不可能停止 只能期待末日
想念你 只愿你奔向 幸福的明日

Day 176

昨天我们都一起去考试
都一起不及格了. haha!

虽然我们没什么讲话
没什么看这对方
可是当你一离开train 要去找她的时候,
我真的很舍不得你
心有痛到.

每一次看到你 我的心就软了
不懂要这么跟你开口说话 这么看着你
没有看到你的时候 我很想骂你打你 很讨厌你

我也不知道我的心在想什么.
我只知道我还是想你的.

Day 173

人說 談感情 先認真的就不會贏
我們愛上的那個總是會比較愛自己

Day 172

I saw u that day.

U no, my heart is sour and pain?

I never wanna tok to u.

After some time never see u, I never wanna see u.

But I still saw u. I dunno how to react. Dunno what to do.

Dunno what to say. Dunno how to look at u.

Stoning at lounge. Colleagues no what happen and lai an Wei me.

Thanks guys.

Today is feb 14. 情人节.

U going to take off all de anything everything on Ur 身上 that is related to me.

Gave her everything u can.

Saying not to hurt another girl.

U no after I saw Ur text I feel like crying?

U no my heart damn pain?

U no how pissed off I'm?

Stop telling me that I'm changed.

U did change too ok.

And what attend wedding?! What u toking.

How old only. What wedding.

Stop all this things ok.

U wanna go get together with her, just go ahead.

Dun tell me all this.

Anyway, 我给你我的祝福 幸福. All de best to u and her.

Day 165

我们的爱犯了什么错
眼泪又在不停流
是不是谁给的不够
还是谁放的太多

我们的爱犯了什么错
不能向前 不能退后
谁应该原谅谁
变成爱的结果
这结果是谁的错

Day 162

没有你这么办
像我现在无法入眠
只要你在我身边.

Day 160.

U told me to go back to my normal life so i wont so xin ku.
U told me to go find my friends.
U told me to open my hands.
U told me we should not meet so much first.
U told me we should not contact at de moment.
U told me u hope i still will treat u as friend.
U told me u got soso much things to tell me but no use telling already.
And, u told me to find a boyfriend.
i find it so joke when u call me go find a boyfriend.

everything use say, i also can.
its like how i did that to u last time.
i still remember i cried and shout to u and tell u i dun love u anymore.
hang up ur call and never contact never meet u le.
i understand how u feel le. =)

i can tell u.. Sry, i still cant do it. so hard to open my hands.
so hard to get a boyfriend. so hard..

i hate u. hate u from falling in her.
hate u for not trying even more hard to get me back.
i always believe if u really love me soso much,
u will sacrifice anything and everything for me.
Thanks someone for telling me this.
but ask urself. did u?
what i heard from u is not like this. all i heard was 'excuses'
if u still love me that much, come back to me now. and throw her aside can?

i no i should not blame her.
but i just hate her. hate her that she got u.
cause i believe my love for u is much more and deeper then her.
and she just got u like this. so unfair to me. seriously.
call her no need act one nice person ok? so fake.
no need to tell me how good she is too. cause i still hate her.
u will never no how much i hate her.

i hate myself. hate myself that i am de one who ask for a breakup.
hate myself for not caring u that day.
hate myself for trusting u so much that u wont do that to me.
hate myself for giving u so much free time with ur friends and make u fall for her.
hate myself for being too boring. too quiet and not awesome enough for u.

removed pictures from fb, removed everything that u gave me at my room
will make me forget u?
i also dunno. seems like so hard to forget even if i removed everything from my room.
cause my brain my heart have not remove yet.

no matter what i do, where i go. work, sleep, walk, eat.
once i think of u and past. my eyes will get watery.
when can all this just stop?
until now i dun understand why i ended up like this.
i still cant get an answer and no one can answer me.
i thought im de happiest, go with simple life, blurr blurr let u take care of me de girl.
now? i feel so shitty. too much bad things happen to me.
i dunno what to do. really dunno.
hell headache.
life suck.